Tuesday, 7 October 2014

Alternate blog site..

Hi Readers,
I know it's been a while. I have started another blog, for my poems, social commentaries , please come and check it out at dailyconquests.wordpress.com


I will continue to post my metaphysical and self growth posts here...from tomorrow I will be posting a chapter from Monday to Friday from a book I wrote..."towards complete oneness " I hope I will continue to receive your love, support and encouragement as always..

Love, light and peace.....

Tuesday, 3 December 2013

Set Me Free by Nikeeta Bharrgava

Hello Readers,
I do apologise for my long absence. I do however have some special news to share, my debut novel Set Me Free,  has recently got published. You all have been such wonderful readers of my blog, and I hope your support will now extend to my first new born...Set Me Free...

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Nikeeta Bharrgava was born in the picturesque hills of the Himalayas and spent most of her childhood there. She completed most of her education in Lucknow and has been in Mumbai from 1999. She found her calling early in life with an avid interest in metaphysics from a very young age and an inclination to understand the subtleties of relationships. Her first story to be published was at the age of sixteen.She had travelled around the world and spent three years in Germany. The breakdown of her first marriage and few years as a single mother gave her deeper understanding of laws of metaphysics. She happily gave up a lucrative job at a high end media firm from the post of Assistant Vice-President so as to take care of her young son.She is a practicing hypno-therapist and loves to paint. She loves spending time with her son and husband and loves to cook for them.Nikeeta shows a great maturity and depth of understanding of the human psyche. This is reflected in her choice of subjects, the realistic 
portrayal of her characters and their emotions.She believes pain is temporary and should only be seen as a lesson from the universe. Always an optimist and an eternal romantic she 
believes every phase of life is beautiful, if you learn to stop fighting it and start enjoying it.Set 
Me Free is her debut novel. It reflects her belief that true love when it comes to us may not 
come to stay, but what it does is heal us and set us free…

Product Details

  • Paperback: 188 pages
  • Publisher: Leadstart Publishing Pvt Ltd; First edition (November 18, 2013)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 9382473831
  • ISBN-13: 978-9382473831
  • Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.4 x 0.5 inches

Book Description

Seema, a young college graduate from a small town in India, is abducted, gang raped, tortured and kept captive for 23 days. She is poisoned and left for dead. For Seema all hell breaks loose the day she comes face to face with one of her captors… The story, of a spirit broken, trapped 
in the walls of her captivity…A journey of a girl, who finally takes a step back into the world of 
the living… And, an unlikely friend, who helps Set her Free
November 18, 2013

I am posting a few links here, you can order a copy online...I do look forward to your feedbacks, 
reviews and comment




Here is a bit about my book...

Wednesday, 2 January 2013

Spiritual Conquests: The Sex Object...

Spiritual Conquests: The Sex Object...: A nation is outraged at the brutality suffered by a 23 year old student. She suffered not only the degrading act of gang rape, but was seve...

The Sex Object...

A nation is outraged at the brutality suffered by a 23 year old student. She suffered not only the degrading act of gang rape, but was severely injured, brutalized and succumbed to death after fighting to stay alive for 13 days. We lit candles, we marched in protest, every one who could lay their hands on a mike, made speeches and statements. Yet, everyday, there are new reports of rapes, gang rapes, molestations, violence, acid attacks. These go un-noticed, mostly reported in small columns, some where in the news paper. The electronic media hardly ever wasting their time on these reports, or else perhaps, they would have to start a new channel, the rape daily, daily rapes, the rape channel....to give footage to each such incident.

Unfortunately, it is not just India, or the third world countries, that have rapes. Nor is it a new phenomenon . Rape has existed since eons. Women are only since the recent past , learning to fight back, take the legal way. Its another story how the justice system lets down the victims every day.

Yes, women were treated as second class citizen, across the globe. Some countries "gave" them an equal status sooner than others. Some countries are still killing female infants, trying to kill teenagers who promote female literacy, call female employees as servants, mock women protesters by calling them beauties who are dented and painted. Female teachers get murdered... the list is too long. However today, I am not writing to decry rape, I have been doing that through my writing since long. My book still awaits publishing. Today I am writing on a slightly different matter. However this prologue was essential for my topic.

Today I am wondering, which looking glass do women look at themselves? Have we been so thoroughly subjugated over the centuries that, we too look at ourselves, from the eyes of men. This is not an anti-men piece. No I love men. Men have fought with us, for us etc.I am talking purely as a woman, to other women and asking them, why did we sell ourselves short.

You know men age, they grow fat, bald, develop paunches, they gloat, marry women much younger to them, do their things, laugh at their younger days of sowing wild oats.
What do women do? we look into the mirror , highlighting every strand of grey, every crows feet, we hate our bodies. When we get middle age spread around our waists, we wallow in self pity because our bloom is fading. When menopause hits us, we cry, we mourn the loss of our youth. we get insecure, our men wont find us attractive, that we have not retained our figures.

When we are young, we want bodies the men will like. Flat stomachs, big boobs. we go through liposuction, boob jobs, botox and horror of horror now their is a new procedure in town..labiaplasty... OMG where will this end? have you heard of men going through dangerous surgeries to please our eyes? These are surgeries, what about beauty palors?

Now I am not a bra burning feminist. I love being a woman, infact I am a girlie-girl. I love my curves, long hair. I have never felt periods were a curse. The only things I am trying to bring the spot light on today is, it is not a woman's fault because she (again OMG, but I am translating one of the posts on facebook) sits close to boys on bikes, wears short clothes, makes friends with boys, eats, smokes, drinks, perhaps they should have added breathes....

I think women are at fault, because as mothers we have taught our daughter to comply. to accept we are second class citizens. Our mothers and their mothers before that, have taught us to accept our fate, we have done good karmas if we get good husbands ( good implying he doesn't beat us, burn us, asks for too much dowry) We must put up with his obnoxious behaviour. He comes home tired, we must be ready for him, it doesn't matter how tired we might be at the end of the day. We women teach men they are better than us, that they can get away with anything. Boys will be boys. A sister is to cater to her brother, younger or older. A wife should have no opinion of her own. A man grows up unable to accept women who are capable of thinking for themselves, who can have an opinion , who can have a life, can party and not be a slut and who can say NO to him.

Our mothers did not walk out of sorry marriages, and expect us not to either. But we are breaking the mould. Today an actress has defied the stereotyping of anorexic looking woman. She is voluptuous and unapologetic. We join the men in making fun of her, but seriously, we should be thanking her. Thanking her for making it ok again to have a bit of bulge, a bit of flesh so we can eat healthily again without feeling guilty.

I believe, when we have strong mothers, we will have a string society. When a mother earns and demands her respect in the family, when a teacher teaches her students to respect women, we will create a society where rapes will be a rarity. Where we wont have to protest every time for justice.

Men and women are different. Men accepted themselves long ago... the good with the bad. Women , now let us look at our-self with new lenses and teach men to look at us through those. Let us not give in to stereotyping of any kind. Let us not be apologetic any more, let us not be the enemy of our kind. And let us stop defining our-self by a hymen or how many wild oats have been sown in us. Let us truly believe and know, we are equal, we don't need to demand it, we are beautiful, we don't need to prove it, we are sexual beings, we don't need to apologise, we have our minds, rights, opinions...Lets change the looking glass....

Why did I then title this piece The Sex Object? its because, that's how men (not all) view us, treated us, objectified us (films, advertisements, certain jobs)... and so far we have concurred, we have totally agreed....

Tuesday, 23 October 2012

Beyond the veil of fear...

Last week has been significant, in very subtle ways. One thing I learnt, which was of great significance was there are two kinds of people. i think more than a learning, it was a reminder....The two kind of people are
1. Who live by fear
2. Who live despite the fear
there might be category of those who do not live, they are just in fear...
However, for today, the first two are the ones in focus.

There are those who live by fear. There life is regulated by fear. The fear dictates their choices. They eat healthy not out of respect for their body, but fear of illness. They worship God, not out of love and gratitude, but out of fear of something bad happening to them, if they don't. They live in fear of their future. Will I be alone when old, who will look after me, if I don't save , how will I live....
The fear operates them, drives them, makes their choices and decisions for them. They fear the reprimand of the society. they fear humiliation.

I understand fear. I grew up with the fear of abandonment . My relationships were dictated by this fear. If i don't concede He will leave me, if I don't do this or that, comply, everything was dictated by one fear Abandonment. i am saying this because I know, what it is like, to belong to the first group.

The second category of people are those Who live despite the fear. Its not that these people do not know fear. They too have a brain that can envisage negative outcomes. They too have moments of doubt, but the difference in them is, they go ahead and live their life, regardless of the fear. It not dumb bravado. They know the consequences, and their courage comes from accepting to live with the consequences rather than not be true to themselves. These lives, these people create new worlds, they becomes leaders and pioneers. They dare to walk the untrodden path. The face difficulties, obstacles, they are ostracised by society many times, but they question the existing, they question their fears and they go ahead regardless. The outcome does not scare them. The threat to their life, health, wealth, success, marriage, status...it pales in comparison to their living every moment according to their highest truth. The truth of their soul. The truth, they had written in their blue print long before they were born.

Those who live in fear, become bitter over time. They fret about things that are small in comparison to the larger picture.Fear is the root of anger, of frustration, of despair of most negative emotions. If you break down your negative emotions you will realise the core is always some fear.

The people who are envious /jealous of me , my life, my choices, are the ones who don't have the courage to do it themselves. They know they are too afraid of the consequences. Because I didn't give in to the biggest fear of my life...abandonment. I faced it, I lived every day of it. I looked it , in its face and said...I don't fear you any more...

The fears may be big or small, yet the only way to lead a life of greatness, of happiness is to go beyond the veil of fear. Don't fight it, face it. Don't resist it, you will attract it more, live it , don't ignore it, it will follow...accept it....

The only way to conquer fear , is to face it. How can I not worry about consequences? By knowing that beyond worry, anxiety, fear lies the truth. The truth, that if you live , in every moment, by your highest truth...the result may not be what you want, but it will always be the greatest and the best result for you. If you look around, the people who are the happiest are the ones who have taken the most chances, have faced the worst of situations, seen the hardest of days, they rose to the occasion and conquered yet another part of them that had recoiled in fear. Each fear conquered, is another layer of happiness added to your life...

Tuesday, 16 October 2012

Redemption and second chances

Redemption .... the need to redeem...it is safe to say, it connotes failure , the first time round. It means a chance to win back good points, opinion or reputation against a history where you lost it.Perhaps, the word comes loaded with guilt.

People says, its a fortunate few , who get a second chance, also connoting, a sort of re-match, if you please, to set things right, again highlighting that you went wrong some where.

This is a topic, I know every word is divided by thin lines.The important three words, I am writing about today....Mistakes, Redemption and second chances....
Mistakes are generally taken as a negative. You are scolded since you were but a toddler, when you didn't do things "correctly", implying mistake. In school , these mistakes are categorised into errors and careless mistakes.AS we grow older, people are less forgiving. Anything that doesn't work, is condemned as a mistake and if you make one too many, you are tagged a failure and soon enough a loser.

However, even though, in the limited time we do have, considering we live and remember only one lifetime at a time, we do not have the luxury of committing every mistake our self, my question is, Is making mistakes such a terrible thing? Do we deserve being tagged, labelled, crucified in a broader sense, for making mistakes. To err is human. Why?

We learn from our mistakes, that's why. At least, that's what we are supposed to do.Take for example, a situation of a divorce. Why is it called a failed marriage? It didn't work, sure, but why the tag "failed"? Each relationship teaches us a lot. It helps as grow . We do learn every day spent with another person.

When a student "fails" a subject, there is judgement, assumptions, he is weak in a subject, so he failed it. He repeats a class, because he failed. He failed because he made one too many mistakes. Perhaps he excelled in certain subjects, but that is cast aside. His inherent aptitude not withstanding, he is a failure, because he is slow at grasping certain subjects that are deemed important by the majority of people.

A person, grows , with self esteem issues. He wants a chance to redeem himself. prove, he's good or better than any one else. He wants a second chance. This happens, in tangible targets. He can prove himself by fitting into criterion of success. People can judge on palpable parameters. But in life, not everything is palpable or tangible. Is redemption only about beating the odds? What are true second chances?

In life, when we find our self in certain situations again and again, we groan "Not again!!", "I'm back to square one", "Why does this keep happening to me". These situations are life giving you more than simple second chances . For the universe sometimes redemption is not about changed circumstances or changed/ different results. It is sometimes about changed attitudes towards a situation. Redemption is about, handling something better than the first time round. About not complaining or trying to get out of situation but making the most of it. You see, sometimes , what we perceive as a negative situation, is just a situation. No change is required, not different outcome, just your attitude toward it. Universe is not judging. It has no favourites. It takes no sides. From a macro level, the second chance was not given to redeem yourself, in the broadly understood form, rather to redeem yourself in how you conduct yourself, in the given situation. A second marriage does not prove, you right, corrected, vindicated. Its a chance to practise what you learnt the first time round. You may find, nothing has changed, just the person. The reason being, the only change required, is not the external situation, which by design is perfect, but an internal one, with you...

If only we stop looking at  mistakes as a bad thing, we could then focus more on learning from not only our mistakes, but from those of people around us, before us...we would grow exponentially in our expertise, experiences and wisdom. we would learn practical applications, because no one would be embarrassed to share their "mistakes", they would happily share, their experiences, how they dealt with it, what they could have done differently. we all do have hind sight. We would all benefit.

Second chances too would take on a different meaning, we would look forward to doing things differently, experiment to find out what works out the best way, because we would not be afraid of making mistakes and being judged there after. We would happily try alterations of our attitudes, belief systems. We would breath freely, live freely, love more, fear less.

Perhaps redemption would no longer be required as a word and cease to exist. Or if it existed it would denote an individual who figured out what works the best for his highest form of existence. People would be happier with their lot, far less envious of whom they now perceive as better, more successful, better adapted...

My question is, is making mistakes such a bad thing after all? Are we after all sent on a journey of life , the road of which is bumpy to say the least, must each bump reduce our joy in the journey. Can we not gleefully cheer like children, rise from our seats  at every bump and settle back in all the while enjoying the sights, sounds, experiences the journey has to offer us. Need we focus all our attention on how many pot holes, bumps and rough patches the are. Its a long drive isn't it ? Would we rather take all that as a part of the experience and just go at our pace, take in as much a we can and make it a picnic rather than an ordeal?

Friday, 12 October 2012

Understanding Lightworkers

There is a group of people out there... we are called "the light workers". We are normal people. The only difference being our souls remember , the jobs we came out here to do. Some of us came down as healers, teachers, environmentalists and such. A lot of people who don't understand what we are trying to do mock us, they are even afraid of us. The reason being..one. most of us are very intuitive, so we practise either tarot, dowsing, or some other form of predictions, some speak to angels, some to ascended masters, some do channelling work. People who are not in touch with this aspect of themselves misunderstand us.

The second reason, and very interestingly is people are conditioned to the old time religious "gurus". Now religious "gurus" had a certain way of living. They practised austerity in various forms. Little food, no fancy clothes, simple living etc. Now the new age light worker and Gurus, lead a very different life from the older generations. We do not deny our self a family life, good food, beautiful homes or clothes. We do not hide our human flaws or mistakes, rather we learn from them and use our experiences to help others grow as well. We may or may not be religious, we may not even be spiritual. What we do is follow the basic rules of metaphysics.

Now since most people see us go about our daily lives much like them, and since they cannot see the aspects of our lives during days of confusion, or times when we are challenged to change habits, belief systems or patterns. They assume either we are phony or plain delusional. Most light workers understand the importance of humour, they know they can't take themselves, problems or the gratitude they get from people who have benefited from their help seriously. They understand, this too is as momentary as everything else. This humour, is again a big reason for us being misunderstood. We are supposed to be serious, if we understand deep subjects like Karma, God, relationships, Laws of attraction....On the contrary, the more you understand, the more open you are opening your sense of humour.

Light workers also understand, God has never asked anyone to deny themselves anything. He made a beautiful world, he wants everyone to enjoy his creations. He wants us to eat well, play well, learn well, love each other, help each others. He never asked us to give up food, clothes, cars, sex or anything. He allows us to explore, discover and evolve.

This part is difficult for outsiders to comprehend. They are quick to judge and label, she is a day dreamer, she is too laid back, is he serious ? He can talk to God? who do they think they are? If they are so special why did she have failed relationships...etc.... Somehow the fact that we take things in our stride upsets others more than us.

The deal is, light workers, have expertise in some areas, in others they are also experiencing, learning, growing ,evolving. They just understand certain principles better than the others and instead of gloating, they chose to help others understand. They use simple language and analogies from day to day life. We come with our own set of problems, we only chose to call them challenges or lessons and move along.

Light workers understand, from a very young age, life is not for constrictions. Everything has a purpose. Most rules made by humans, served their good, rather than a norm for everybody . They know the universe is forever changing, evolving and expansive. They don't judge good or bad. They believe in choices and free will.

I suggest before you run down somebody because they speak to angels, have sex, love to travel, laugh, eat good food... think about this...why did God create all of it, if he wanted us to shun it, close our minds and just live in restricted thinking patterns? Why would the creation want us to turn our back on things, people and experiences if he did not want us to enjoy them....

Thursday, 11 October 2012

The right thing, for the right reason...

Today, I feel the need to sort out some very basic questions. These questions have rushed to the fore, for two contradictory phases in our "universe". See according to Astrology, the Saturn is in transit. This makes every person familiar with astrology nervous. The reason being , for the next two and a half years, the Lord of Justice is glaring upon us.Which essentially mean, the lessons you were meant to learn, and you haven't due to procrastination, stubbornness or any other reason, will now see you in the thick of struggles. If Anything Lord Saturn is a strict teacher who ensures you complete your lessons, and rewards you , when you do a good job. . So be it in your career, financial life, romance, health, whatever you had put on the back burner or thought you had skipped lessons for, now will demand your attention at its fullest.

Now if you were to go to any astrologer or even research it yourself, there are several ways to "placate" Lord Saturn. They would tell you to quit alcohol, smoking, eating non-vegetarian food. If you have more bad karmas than good, you would please him by serving the old and the poor. For people with minor disturbances in their life, they prescribe rituals of offering mustard oil, almonds, black sesame seeds etc.

I will come back to this in a bit, moving on to another phase we are going to at this very moment simultaneously, is "Be true to your self". This essentially translates into forget about public opinions, what others think of you, public morality based on societal norms or religion and accept yourself completely, as you are . This is the current phase in the stages of the ascension process.

I am confounded by several questions, that need logical answers to proceed in the correct manner. Now supposing, to please Lord Saturn , it is suggested one gives up smoking, drinking etc ( according to me moralistic), yet the person only does it to please or rather out of fear of dis-pleasing the Lord of Justice, is he/she doing the right thing for the wrong reasons and how much would it really please "Justice". The reason being, the moment the fear is gone, the person WILL go back to those very "pleasures". At the same time, one is being asked to be true to themselves.What if the person is well informed about the ill effects of these "pleasures", but is being true to himself and doesn't give them up. Will he them have to face negative consequences for not appeasing the Lord of Justice.

I am not posing these questions in any religious context, nor are the answers I am seeking, from any moralists, religious, sanctimonious stand point. My question is at a very basic level. If fear is the motivation, doesn't the action that comes out of it, become a lie? Is conformity to dogma and social pressures , rather "pretending" to be good, the correct way?

Threats when coming from any where, parents, teachers, bosses, always increases rebellion or at least passive aggressive behaviour. Wouldn't it be better, for us to decide our own boundaries, as long as we are harming no one, on  what is "good" or "bad" for our own selves? Why give the power of judgement to anyone else, no matter how high the authority figure might be seated?Wouldn't this be a far honest way and in the correct spirit of ascension. Be your own judge...Be yourself...

Again, those who believe in rituals, would feel better for practicing the remedies. For those who don't believe , wouldn't care less. My point only being, this interesting juxtaposition of the cosmic phases, is a very interesting phenomenon, it encourages us to test our own realities. It probably asks us to leave behind shackles of fears, to question rules and come up with our own answers. Now that is a very pleasing proposition!!!

Tuesday, 9 October 2012

Burning jealousy and brick batters

It's been more than three months, since I've written my last blog. I thought of several I wanted to pen down, but a lot has been on my mind lately. Today, I got back some of my enthusiasm for writing because I had a small break through. An article of mine titled "the saving grace" was published in life positive magazine.

You see, when one is growing and learning, one is filled with enthusiasm to share with everyone the mind blowing, life changing experiences they have. Last few days I realised , not everyone is happy when you do that. One, they are not happy, you understand so easily what they struggle for with for years. Second they hate to admit, they hate your guts for growing continuously and not letting the past hold you down and then of course there are those who only believe something if you have some degree to back up what you say...

I do believe jealously is a bitter poison. I believe envy may be the best form of flattery, but there is a very fine line that separates the two.the poison of jealousy not only closes your mind to a truth that may help, it destroys relationship, it harms you physically with alarming physical ailments.  It only makes you a petty person ,in the long run.

Jealousy, is such a waste of time and energy really?for one, no one, no matter how close can know everything about the journey, the struggles, the highs and lows of an individual. It's all very fine to sit across and think the grass is so much greener on the other side, but honestly, given half a chance, no one in the world,if truly sees the problems of any one, Fromm any rand, to Darren virtue or even bill gates, would ever want to go through the pain the other faced.

The universe, in it's infinite wisdom, gives each person a journey, only they can manage and cope with. Some deal with the pains better than other, some trivialise their issues and some can't stop harping. It doesn't mean, one has it easier than the other.

What does shock me, is how easily, people make up their minds, fill it with prejudice and become judgemental about a person and stigmatise them.i wonder if their parents never did tell them, if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything at all!!!

The last few months have been very significant for light workers and the general populace of the world. These were months of facing ones fears head on, letting go of patterns and beliefs that we're redundant. Everyone faced crisis of one form or the other. The lessons, we have learnt were put through tests and some came out shining more than others....

I continue to share, my journey, my daily leanings and all I can say to the people out there burning with jealousy, towards anyone, you aren't hurting anyone but your self. You shoe size is different, so it would be best if you get off and develop compassion. The reason for your troubles are perhaps, not enough empathy or compassion in you...

Thankyou my dear readers, for your invaluable support, love....

Monday, 25 June 2012

Buying a Food Processor and simpler joys

I had, as close to perfect , as a weekend can be, as per my definition. The high point of this weekend was my venture to buy a food processor. I had one , a fantastic, irreplaceable one, when I was in Germany. I had a special relationship with that powerful and little food processor . I became aware of German technology. That little one became my best friend for not only the three years In Weil-am Rhein, but gave me much comfort of familiarity once I was back in India, that felt lonelier than foreign shores. There is nothing worse than a lonely marriage. Once the food processor broke down and I desperately tried to get it fixed. No one in India could even get the motor open, let alone repair it. I was heartbroken. So many things were breaking and falling apart. Now my faithful, familiar, beautiful, food processor was gone too. I held on to its jars and blades , hoping against hope to find another of its brand and model. Nothing turned up.

Years passed. I struggled to build from scratch my life, build a nest for my son and me. Work, broken heart, left me with little time to mourn, much less replace my little friend. I found a helper in the lady who came to wash the dishes at my place. If I was planned enough for the day, my menu ready early on, she would chop or slice or grate vegetables i wanted. I wasn't so planned. I like impromptu creations. I missed the identically sliced cucumbers and tomato slices. I hated grating for hours to get a bowlful of salad in place.

Now, this weekend, I wandered into a kitchen shop with my husband. I had wanted some basic stuff like a pepper crusher. Now that I'm cooking 5 times a day, I need all my tools back. I just happened to ask if they also kept food processors. I didn't expect them to have one with all the functions I wanted. To my pleasant surprise they did. It was not ridiculously expensive like I expected. But, this processor is huge. Its not compact and dainty as my old one. never the less, I looked at it, asked all kinds of questions, I've learned from my mother. My husband who loves shopping, was so enthusiastic, I made peace with the size and bought it. I let it sit there on the floor of our living room for hours, not opening the box. I finally did, just before bed time.
The joy that filled my heart is hard to explain. I had a simple gadget, but , it meant, my household was flourishing or on its way there at-least. I could afford to buy electronics, whereas a few months back I was struggling to pay my basic bills. This machine represented to me, the promise of a warm hearth, a home where fresh food was being prepared. It represented to me my home, complete with my son and my husband. It showed me, my husband wasn't going to deny me things. It meant the beginning of a new relationship. I would slowly get to know all the pieces, all the jars, understand without the manual all the settings, knobs and lights. It represented , to me above all, when something goes out of our lives, it may never be replaced, but sooner or later, we find something, that fulfills us equally. Spring does come after winter, and we do not go wanting forever.

I marveled at how happy a small gadget had the power to make me, and I realized, it wasn't the gadget, it was the gratitude within my heart that filled me with joy. The food processor just became a symbol for all that I was grateful for. There are far simpler things in life , that garner greater joys. A smile from a child, a kind gesture from a stranger, understanding instead of a fight from your spouse. A key ring from your son. A good book, a weekend spent with your special friend and husband watching you favorite movie, eating your favorite food....Some things in life are priceless...

I have yet to christen this one... my old one was "Philippe "


Karma, Destiny, fate, free will, choices, will power.... are  these purely words or are they real. If they are for real, on what principals do they work. How are we supposed to know the differences, pertaining to our individual lives?
First things first, yes these are all real.
This blog is threatening to become a chapter, if I'm not careful and so I choose brevity ( After all ,it's a large part of my book and I'd like to just whet the appetite :) )

Lets understand one thing first. Consciousness is eternal. Life and death are just syntax to this huge book.

 Karma is generally easy to understand. It the law of balance. What has gone out, comes back and balance is restored. As long as the balance is not acquired, the give and take continues. The cycle can be broken .(understanding whether its Karma or not is not important) To break cycles across lifetimes or from this current life, when something happens, work on the assumption its Karma. Accept it with grace, make a choice to forgive people/person who is your "tormentor" in the situation. Ensure you articulate the " Learning" from the situation. Make the appropriate changes in your attitudes, beliefs, behavior etc, as part of your learning. Stay positive. Karma, is not a punishment for something "wrong" one has done, its a natural order of balance.

Now to slightly complex destiny. Now not everything in life is destined. Somethings are. We are not made aware of them, for the simple reason, to enable us to reach there should not compound, compromise or prejudice our learning, our free will or choices. Our choices, show how far we have come. It reflects our growth, our inner attitudes. Choices have consequences. Its like taking the wrong exit on a highway. That was our choice, we then face the consequence of having to drive longer, get back on the correct path and perhaps reaching our destination a little later .

Yet we have been given flag posts in life, to kind of nudge us onto the correct path for our individual soul's unique journey. Astrology, palmistry, tarot are all indicators in different aspects. Horoscopes or birth charts are like the basic blue prints of life. They indicate the basic strengths and flaws that are inherent in us. We can work on the flaws. They also point to the major landmarks that are to occur in our lives, in order to enable us to be prepared. Being forewarned is being fore armed.

Palmistry is like a mini- statement, that reflects your last few transaction in this current life. What your thoughts and actions have been in the last six months reflect how your future will continue to shape up like if you continue to follow the same behavioral patterns.

Tarot and other such methods are ways of tapping into your subconscious for guidance and reflect more about your emotional health regarding an aspect or phase of your life.

Somethings are predestined, and no matter what road you take, that's where you will end up. The forks you come across will determine the kind of road you encounter, the passengers you meet,but the destination will be the same. Kind of like if you took a flight, ship, road trip or train. There are pros and cons in each mode of transport, and they will all get you to your destination.

The thing about Free Will , is like in college.There will be subjects that you're really good at, there are some you need to work hard on and sometimes you flunk certain subjects. You then have to attend extra classes or supplementary along with your regular classes to bring them up to a certain level. You know in life , the subjects you're flunking because you will notice the same thing happening again and again with minor differences such as person, place or workplace, The situation remains the same, getting dumped, unable to keep a job, financial crisis, you always seem to land where you started. This is an indication, you need work in this area. You need to unlearn, and relearn in this aspect of your life.While you are doing this your regular classes are continuing, you will have to keep up with them, take tests, do projects. Sometimes , when you do exceptionally well you get extra credit, you then get to chose what subjects you wish to pursue.

What I'm trying to say here is , in life, there are two layers that are definite. One from the past, the curriculum you need to finish. Certain relationships , bring the balance in the karma and the like. And second, live your current life, keeping in mind the lessons you have learned and applying them across all aspects.

Sometimes destiny could be as simple as , you're destined to marry a particular individual because you have a lot of baggage to clear with that individual. In another person it may no be important who they marry but destined to become , say a widow/er, in order to learn to move on. For some a certain career is destined, in order to restore karmic paybacks and balancing and in others, career may be completely on thier whim.

To understand, these concepts vis a vie your life. All you have to do, is sit in introspection. Write down all significant events so far. Mark the repetitive patterns. Try to see if any larger picture is emerging with your hobbies, passions, jobs, is it slowly leading you down a path , follow it.

One thing that is reassuring is, we are never allowed to go terribly wrong or so far from our path to the point of no return. The universe intervenes and nudges us, gently and sometimes rudely if we're not paying attention, back on our track. Loose the resistance to it. Flow with the changes. Try swimming with the current  rather than against it and soon you'll start getting a clearer picture.

Friday, 15 June 2012

Equality cannot be Forced

Politician of India and the people who make policies seem to be the kind of people who believe, if all appearances are okay, all is fine. First the divide among the classes were forged in for posterity by giving a certain class the title of " Harijan" , as though the rest of us were devil's very flesh and blood and then the double whammy happened with the reservation policy implementation. Please read my blog: "Crippling Reservations". Now there is a new issue. Most people will not say anything against this out of politeness and to be politically correct. Suddenly, our politicians seem to think by allowing "poor" children, into rich schools, all will be set right.

I have several points to raise on this matter.
1. The class divide will become even more apparent and not solved by any far stretch of imagination. How is a child not be jealous or compete or even befriend leave alone feel equal to another child who owns play stations, x-box, laptop, goes abroad for his vacations, has hobbies like swimming, eats sushi, pasta, continental regularly. How is there going to be camaraderie if even the lingo and lifestyles are pole apart. I don't even want to go into details of personal hygiene, problems of lice, stealing, resentment, street language.How are the parents of those "poor" children supposed to be 3 thousand rupees every time the school takes the child is taken out for an excursion, some of them earn that much in a month perhaps a tad more. How is the child supposed to grasp the concepts of internet when he has never laid sight on a computer?

2. Why must the "haves", be constantly penalized by the government in the name of the "have nots". I fail to understand why even though we pay taxes through our noses, after our merge earnings after a lot of hard work and struggle, we now need to sponsor the education, stationery, uniform and other requirements when we can hardly afford the steep prices of our schools. With the exorbitant taxes why doesn't the government open school or pay teachers decent salary that they might want to come and teach in government schools? We have seen how well that worked out in the case of building homes for shanty dwellers. They moved into houses allotted to them, sold them or put them for rent and built brand new shanties!!!So much for good use of the taxes we pay.

3. Why doesn't the government come up with solutions to over all raise the economic state of this country. Why are they hoarding all the money in swizz accounts and not distributing out of their pockets to these "poor" people, if they care so much? Why aren't they creating job opportunities? Why not work to lift the living standards, the sanitation available and salaries for the parents of these children?

4. India is a democracy ( so they say in our Constitution but I don't think so any more), since when have we become a communist country? We are forced at every step to comply with stupid rules , written by prudes living in some 18th century, treating us like truant children an not adults. From being told what we can or cannot do in the privacy of our homes, to how long we can stay out, now we have to put up with our children being forced into the proximity of children (not their fault), whose education so far, is not at par with the children of these private schools, hence leading to a falling in the teaching standards .

The Solution :There are far better solutions to this problem. One of them was implemented way before these moronic laws were passed. In my school, we had the literacy league programme. Here we children would volunteer and teach street children, post our school hours. Not only that, this movement was so successful, our Principal started a school for them. Once we left school around 2:30, the second shift school was run. They got access to our classrooms, desks, benches, we donated books, stationery even clothes. This was a win-win situation. This makes far more sense. Soon the children would be at par, they studied well. They were given the opportunity they needed. We even cajoled their parents to allow them to attend school. We provided the infrastructure to lay a solid foundation for all the children, with harmony. Their was no resentment from either side, one for becoming aware of how much they lacked, and the other for being forced to do something against their will. I suggest all schools use this module and actually help every child to live with dignity, without facing bullying, ragging or teasing.

Equality is something that has to be created over time and it can never, ever be forced!!!!

Thursday, 14 June 2012

Nobody Loves ME!!

I am not being gender specific here, although most men would prefer to say "Men" don't think like that. Yet "Nobody love me", is a thought that plagues a lot of us, at some point or the other, and specifically after the end of a significant relationship ( long term affair, live-in or marriage). What makes the thought worse is, when going through this phase of feeling sorry for ones-self, the happiness of the couples we see around, seems highlighted and out of proportionately happy.

Since we are small children, feeling sorry for our-self, get imprinted in our minds. We get fed, our diapers changed or even get attention when we cry. We grow up with the belief , if we cut out a sorry figure, we will end up getting more love or attention. Yet as adults we become aware that we cannot become whining people. We end up internalizing our poor me feelings, we cry inside our thoughts and hearts and want someone to come and reassure us.

We also grow up learning rejection is a defeat. We make everything into a matter of Ego satisfaction. We must get what we've worked so hard for or what was the point, Everything is a competition. Everyone I know is in a relationship, is getting married... what do I lack that no one loves me?

We torture ourselves by asking negative questions, where as we should be asking what our lesson was, where do we need to grow, why did we attract that situation and above all be grateful for not being in a relationship that would have grown bitter and wearisome by the hour.

We always want what the others have, yet we are not aware of their journeys, their struggles. Everything comes with a balance, something good and something that helps us grow attached together ( the yin and yang principle)

This feeling of "Nobody loves me", is also something that the runt of the litter, the youngest child or in someway disabled people carry all their lives. It is but natural because, they have grown up feeling inadequate, hence UN-deserving.

The law of attraction ensures you get exactly what you think and feel, and the more the thoughts linger on I'm not good enough, I don't deserve, Nobody loves me...the more it will get validated in your life.
Some try to become attention seekers or people pleasers or simply withdraw into their shells, the end result is always the same, bitterness, loneliness, self loathing leading to the same thought process to start all over again.

If you want to be loved, I can't stress this line any more..you have to begin by loving yourself, as you are, down to the last bit. Loving yourself does not mean you turn into a megalomaniac or an egotist or and egoist. It simply means, accepting yourself, exactly as you are and knowing that, you were meant to be exactly like that. Once you love yourself, you open the doors to the universe to send more love your way.
Second most important thing is to shed pre- conceived notions, pre- determined solutions on what kind of love you want/need. Friends love you, family does, pets love you too. Once you revel in the love of these relationships, you are almost ready to find that someone special....

The third most important thing is to stop searching, stop settling, basically stop being desperate. Just know, There IS someone out there for you and you will find each other when the time is right and when you're ready.

Feeling sorry for yourself drains you of all hope, enthusiasm an positive energy. You are unable to put your best foot forward and you take a huge dent in your self esteem. The bleakness of the dark hours is not something to be taken lightly. Yet you can be your best friends , you know best what uplifts your mood, what makes you feel good about your self, who are the people who value you. So do whatever it takes to become the best YOU possible, no one else can do a better job....Nobody loves me just isn't true, if you love yourself. If you love yourself, respect yourself, be gentle and caring toward yourself, keep working on yourself....as you keep walking what you think is a lone journey, your tribe will keep increasing...more and more will join "The Loving YOU Club"

Tuesday, 12 June 2012

Accepting changes....

Changes are often difficult to accept. Yet wise men have said change is the only constant in life. Sometimes changes are for the positive and exactly what we wanted, and yet when they happen, it takes time to adapt to them. Last week has been challenging for me. After a vacation of 2 months my son's school reopened, my husband started his new job. Both are good things right, and I'm so grateful for them. Yet these two things meant a change in my schedule. Now I'm a night person, and you can keep up all night and I'll be fresh as a daisy, but to wake up early and for me 6 am is like mid night!! I find , it does strange things to my body clock. I end up sleeping more than ever during the day.

I love cooking too, but to be inspired to cook that early in the morning when the only thing my body wants to do, is turn over and go back to sleep is the other challenge. I finally found my bearing today and so I'm back to writing my blog. The best thing I've realized is to take one step at a time. Its ok to take a little while to adapt to the change. As long as you do what's needed to do and keep resistance and excuses at bay, it takes about a week -ten days to start moving with the flow.

Change is not new to me. In-fact, I don't know about you, but in my life, the story so far has been something like a major change, in life, lifestyle, place, country even occurs almost every six months. I never know what to expect. Just when my career was going well in 1999, I was engaged and life placed me back in my parental home, where I had literally nothing to do, post marriage I was thrown into a different country with different language ,food, culture everything, to top it all i couldn't work yet again. Every time I got comfortable in a relationship, something came and changed the whole scenario. I was married, separated, living in, a single mother, working woman, working from home mother, unemployed, remarried all in something like 6 years. Today the fact that my challenge is as simple as adapting my body clock tells you how far along my journey I've come.

Every time you resist a change or a situation, you just end up prolonging the duration of it. The only way is to see the good in that situation and accept it gracefully. In this situation, the good thing is ...oh you won't believe how much I've longed for these simple pleasure of a family life. I've longed to make breakfast for my kid and husband, pack lunches for them, give them warm, handmade dinners. Today I have it. I'm relishing it, enjoying every moment. i am feeling fulfilled in my role as a nurturer to my family. I am already back in my groove of writing. You know something, when you accept easily, even disappointments are easier to take. It just makes sense to you, how it might not be the right thing or the right time. you just know that tomorrow is another day. It comes filled with surprises, some you like , some perhaps were not what you ordered, but none the less, they all eventually turn out for the best for all concerned.

The biggest challenge for a girl whose been independent for too long, single and used to taking all her decisions by her self, is to re-learn co-dependency. It was a challenge that my husband and I am still enjoying, both having been married and then single before. our roles now entwined with the family. We suddenly need to ensure the other person is ok with our decisions or choices. We both are very individualistic characters, with personal hobbies, likes and opinions. What helps is like my husband said, its good to have opinions and yet one should not become judgmental and prejudiced. He loves watching the news. I on principal stay away from news, because all they seem to cover are bad new!! Its like manifesting only bad things across the globe every time millions watch something negative over and over again...

What I'm saying is change is going to happen, in big things and small, the dynamics of relationships will change, so will the rules, your financial conditions, health everything will change sooner or later. the best thing to do is just take one day, one step at a time . Keep aside all resistance and preconceived notions about good or bad. Take it as a blessing and sure enough, it will turn into a blessing. Pssst, the easier you take to a change, surprisingly in my experience, the sooner the phase goes away.....Its your attitude that makes all the difference...

Sunday, 27 May 2012

Would you like to contribute to my book?

Dear Readers,
I need your help for a self help book I'm writing for people going through broken relationships and aching hearts. If you have gone through a rough relationship that left you shattered, please go through this questionnaire and email me in detail.

I………………………………………………………………………….., hereby give permission to Nikeeta Bhargava to use all or part of my interview , for her currently titled book “ Broken Hearts Anonymous”. I have understood hereby, that , incidents from my life are going to be used for anecdotal purposes’.
I am ok with my real name being used
I wish to be quoted under anonymity
This permission is for all editions of the book that may be published; they may be used for promotional purposes or as excerpts from the book in any medium by the author.
The author has agreed to inform me, if all or any part of my interview will be utilized in her book at the time of publication.
I am aware this interview is being recorded.
This interview is completely out of my choice, voluntary and pro-bono.


1.       Name
2.       Current Age
3.       Maritial Status
4.       Relationship Status
5.       Please tell in detail the story of your relationship
6.       Age at time of relationship
7.       How long did the relationship last
8.       What makes this relationship so significant in your life/difficult to replace
9.       Reason why the relationship did not work out
10.   Who broke up the relationship
11.   How did you deal with the initial stage of being single again
12.   Did you hold onto the hope that the person will come back to you?
13.   How long did you hold onto that hope?
14.   Did you go through a period of grieving/depression/loneliness
15.   How did you deal with this phase
16.   How long did it last
17.   Did you have external support
18.   Was your family in favour of your relationship
19.   Were they aware of your break up
20.   Did you go through an angry phase
21.   How did you deal with your anger?
22.   Did you get into any re-bound relationships?
23.   Did you develop any fear or aversion to intimate relationship or commitment?
24.   Did the break up change your perception about yourself
25.   Did you lose your confidence/ self esteem/ security etc
26.   What was the best part of that relationship
27.   What was the  worst part of your relationship
28.   In hind sight what do you feel about the relationship
29.   Do you feel , you are completely over that person?
30.   How do you/would you react if you came face to face with that individual now?
31.   Did you blame God/destiny/someone else for not being together any more?

32.   What fairy tale/story/film do you identify most similar to your story

Please mail me at brokenheartsanon@yahoo.com

I appreciate your inputs and help

God Bless