Nobody Loves ME!!

I am not being gender specific here, although most men would prefer to say "Men" don't think like that. Yet "Nobody love me", is a thought that plagues a lot of us, at some point or the other, and specifically after the end of a significant relationship ( long term affair, live-in or marriage). What makes the thought worse is, when going through this phase of feeling sorry for ones-self, the happiness of the couples we see around, seems highlighted and out of proportionately happy.

Since we are small children, feeling sorry for our-self, get imprinted in our minds. We get fed, our diapers changed or even get attention when we cry. We grow up with the belief , if we cut out a sorry figure, we will end up getting more love or attention. Yet as adults we become aware that we cannot become whining people. We end up internalizing our poor me feelings, we cry inside our thoughts and hearts and want someone to come and reassure us.

We also grow up learning rejection is a defeat. We make everything into a matter of Ego satisfaction. We must get what we've worked so hard for or what was the point, Everything is a competition. Everyone I know is in a relationship, is getting married... what do I lack that no one loves me?

We torture ourselves by asking negative questions, where as we should be asking what our lesson was, where do we need to grow, why did we attract that situation and above all be grateful for not being in a relationship that would have grown bitter and wearisome by the hour.

We always want what the others have, yet we are not aware of their journeys, their struggles. Everything comes with a balance, something good and something that helps us grow attached together ( the yin and yang principle)

This feeling of "Nobody loves me", is also something that the runt of the litter, the youngest child or in someway disabled people carry all their lives. It is but natural because, they have grown up feeling inadequate, hence UN-deserving.

The law of attraction ensures you get exactly what you think and feel, and the more the thoughts linger on I'm not good enough, I don't deserve, Nobody loves me...the more it will get validated in your life.
Some try to become attention seekers or people pleasers or simply withdraw into their shells, the end result is always the same, bitterness, loneliness, self loathing leading to the same thought process to start all over again.

If you want to be loved, I can't stress this line any more..you have to begin by loving yourself, as you are, down to the last bit. Loving yourself does not mean you turn into a megalomaniac or an egotist or and egoist. It simply means, accepting yourself, exactly as you are and knowing that, you were meant to be exactly like that. Once you love yourself, you open the doors to the universe to send more love your way.
Second most important thing is to shed pre- conceived notions, pre- determined solutions on what kind of love you want/need. Friends love you, family does, pets love you too. Once you revel in the love of these relationships, you are almost ready to find that someone special....

The third most important thing is to stop searching, stop settling, basically stop being desperate. Just know, There IS someone out there for you and you will find each other when the time is right and when you're ready.

Feeling sorry for yourself drains you of all hope, enthusiasm an positive energy. You are unable to put your best foot forward and you take a huge dent in your self esteem. The bleakness of the dark hours is not something to be taken lightly. Yet you can be your best friends , you know best what uplifts your mood, what makes you feel good about your self, who are the people who value you. So do whatever it takes to become the best YOU possible, no one else can do a better job....Nobody loves me just isn't true, if you love yourself. If you love yourself, respect yourself, be gentle and caring toward yourself, keep working on yourself....as you keep walking what you think is a lone journey, your tribe will keep increasing...more and more will join "The Loving YOU Club"

Moody elements

What would happen, if one morning the Sun looked down, on the earth and began to think. He would sulk, Indians always shun me, they rush indoors, when I'm at my prime, Canadians seem to love me, and so do Europeans, from now on I will shine only there....What would happen if the moon, went into depression thinking, I am just a reflected glory of the sun, not even half the people look at me, they all just love the sun. What if the wind started feeling invisible and stopped blowing. What if the rains, threw up hands in frustration, I never get it right, either I'm too little or too much, people find me tempestuous and moody. What if the elements started thinking like human beings....

We, the humans, have individual talents, energies, temperament. Each , is carved uniquely and beautifully. Each moment of our drawn to a perfection for our experience and learning. We always bring something to offer to others. Yet every day, we beat our-self blue. I'm not good enough. I face criticism, so I must be so bad. I'm not popular, I must be doing something wrong. My husband tells me I flog myself a lot. I have been shy of showing my painting, publishing my poems and stories.Today, he was a bit edgy. I told him to use the run-away energy and pour it into his drawings. He is a brilliant painter. I marvel at his drawings every time. I have wished for a small percentage of his talent. Then , there are musician friends of mine. I envy them. I've always felt, God made me musically impaired. There are women, when I visit there homes, I feel so small. They keep the homes looking, something out of a catalogue or a magazine. Me on the other hand have piles of clothes, books, drawing material all over. My house resembles a bachelor's pad. The furniture I pick, is completely manly in taste. I tried getting candles and potpourri, they just collected dust. I tried building an altar, it became cluttered with idols faster than I could snap my fingers.

Last night, there was an lunar eclipse. It was so beautiful to look at. I wondered, was it the way of the moon saying, I will make you look at me. I will hide, and then you will all search for me. All of you, when missing your beloved, when working the mid-night lamp, all of you, who look at me on sleepless nights, yet forget me the minute you see the sun. Was the moon sulking last night. I remember, staring at the full moon on several nights, thinking, the sun is so unlucky, his twin -flame is the moon, yet they meet only twice in a day. They both have different functions and yet the complete the cycle, in complete harmony.

Why must we look for what we do not have. Why aren't we happy with the talent, we have within us. Why is the grass always greener on the other side of the fence for us humans. People, like me, who are happy, who are satisfied, no matter how good or bad the circumstance are looked down upon. I've been called laid back on several occasions. I wonder , if everyone were to go after the same things, who would be left to enjoy any thing. If the moon shone as hot and bright as the sun, who would give us a cool, shimmering light? If the wind, rain, sun and moon all had the same attributes, who would compliment each other, how would any cycle get complete.

We, are unhappy, because we want , what the other has. This vicious cycle, doesn't allow any of us to be happy. We forget our individual journeys. Our aspirations takes a wrong turn. Instead of honing our own skill, we run after one, which is not ours.To be happy, we have to stop chasing, another man's dreams. We have to start appreciating what we have been given. Our energies change, our moods too, we must continue, undeterred. Instead of making life a popularity contest, lets see how well we are doing our jobs.

Since, the day, I've stopped trying to please. I started writing, I have been happier, more relaxed. I found my niche and my spot in the sun.I write when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I'm moody or plain lazy. I stopped looking for approval. Some days I write well, other days, not so great, yet I know, there are days when the clouds cover the sun. It doesn't mean , he has lost his brightness or his heat. I will continue to keep shinning bright, one day, when the cloud's job is done, he will move on....