Wednesday, 1 February 2012

Meanderings of a dissatisfied soul...

Dis-satisfaction, where does that creep in from. I follow the principles of gratitude every day. I have found my life change miraculously, by simple principles of gratitude. Gratitude makes every thing seem better, it becomes easier to love, to forgive, easier to feel compassion and live in grace. Yet there are moments, when this dis-satisfaction creeps in. Your logic tells you all is good. You look around and are grateful for everything you have. Perhaps this dis-satisfaction, comes from the innate nature of humans to keep moving forward. A constant desire for change for the better. For some it may be materialistic, hence a change in their lifestyle, for some it may be emotional, a relationship that is more fulfilling, more stable, more romantic, for some its physical, a desire for better health, stamina etc, however for me, it seems to come from a craving to learn to grow, I wish i could devour books. i want to go back to college. i do not crave another degree, but i constantly feel, there is more, more that i need to study, learn , understand. I am happy, yet, there is this nagging dis-satisfaction.

I was pondering since last night, does ego create every kind of dis-satisfaction. Is it really only ego's desire to feel special, important or best that drives us to seek betterment, no matter which aspect we might be considering. Could it be an intrinsic seed in us to ensure evolution takes place. If we all became complacent, would there be any growth, change and invention or discoveries for that matter. Certain type of people become obsessed with finding out a way for betterment, that obsession has yielded medicines, gadgets, houses, wheel to begin with. We may argue, if our lives have really improved or not , yet there has been growth. We applaud scientists and astronauts. We applaud researchers because they give time and figure out answers we all want yet don't go after with their kind of diligence.

What is it about mankind, that needs to seek. At one point life was all about new discoveries, new lands, new clothes, machines, life became a tad boring once all comforts became easily available. Is our mind like the proverbial monkey that needs a task to keep him constantly occupied. What causes this restlessness in our minds that we go chasing after elusive answers, and seeking change, why does the word boredom have a negative connotation?

Goals were in perspective a few decades back. Earning pot loads of money, gadgets made affordable for all of us, seems to have made us all a bit lost in the transit. We no longer know where we have to go, yet this urge, this instinct that wants us to keep growing and evolving , whips us constantly. People, out of frustrations start making superficial changes, their partners, work place, residence, continents even. They seek answers in religion or spirituality, yet find no inner peace...

Is seeking change or betterment in any area of life a bad thing? If in fact , it is a good thing, why are most people afraid of changes, why are we reluctant to accept the inevitable changes in our lives, lifestyles, relationships, even in our careers and bodies... More people are afraid of success than failure, because they do not know how it will change hem, the people around them and their lives. When a desire to change comes about, its like an invisible force, driving you like a master, telling you to move out of the status-quo, it goads you to move forward. Sometimes you're aware of the direction to move on in, sometimes you don't know even that. Thinking about, how the shift in your gear may affect and change your equations with people around you, confounds you. You get stuck. Your insides are telling you to move forward, make the necessary change yet, the fearful side of you, holds your rein, this leads to dis-satisfaction

A lot of people feel expectations or comparisons lead to dis-satisfaction, I disagree, I feel a conflict between your heart and mind is what leads to dis-satisfaction.How does one resolve this inner conflict, when one doesn't have time to even converse with the people he lives with, leave alone having an internal verbal thrashing session.I do feel a few minutes of meditation puts you in touch with your inner self, it will at least point you in the direction, you have to move forward in.

All I have come to realise so far, is one must leave fears behind, you must follow what your heart says, we must be grateful for what we have and yet not live in the fear of losing it. A hunger for betterment is not bad, and like the Wiccan Rede says: "An it harm none do what ye will" ( as long as what you do, harms no one, do as you wish)

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