Sunday, 27 May 2012

Feminist of the reversed kind

Being a Woman in today's time, is a bitter sweet experience. I love being a woman. I have never felt at a disadvantage being a girl in a small town.In fact there are times when I'm plain grateful for being a girl. What makes this experience bitter sweet today then? You see I'm a feminist of the reverse order.

The things i loved about being a woman was the choices I had.Unlike men, there was no compulsion on me to work, unless I wanted to. I did not feel guilty for being unemployed, because I chose to be a full time mother post my divorce. I had the freedom to chose a career which had no grantee or security. My subject of expertise Metaphysics was something most men would scoff at. Being a woman helped me to easily be in rhythm with the moon and other energies.

On the other hand, at a superficial level, I like having the female form. I find it beautiful. Most of my paintings eulogize the various female bodies. I loved my chubby avtar when I was pregnant, the one year post my pregnancy, I continued being voluptuous. I naturally have a thin body with curves ( yes its possible) and I reveled in my rounder and fuller curves.

Today, women are hell bent on proving themselves. Women from my generation and before that for some reason want to prove they are better than men. They want financial independence, which is a good thing but they are fast forgetting the pleasures of co-dependencies.I loved the fact that my husband earns and I play the role of a nurturer. I love being at home to welcome my son and serve him fresh warm food, I love the smile that comes on my face when my husband comes home from work and the tickle I feel when he hands over his salary to me. I am secure in the knowledge of my worth. I don't need to prove I'm talented, that I can earn, I am all of that. I don't need to wear skimpy clothes to reassure myself I'm sexy, I know I am.

I was so taken aback when a famous actress was flaked left right and center for not shedding her postpartum fat. Here is a woman who did the right things at the right time. SHe had aa successful career, married a man who loves her and now she wants to be a full time mother. SHe did not stop breast feeding her child for the sake of her figure, nor did she shove her baby into the arms of a nanny rushing of the surgen's table or the gym to get her figure back. What people seem to forget is, it takes 9 months for the completion of a pregnancy and one whole year, around the time the child starts weaning off naturally to start getting your body back.

The cause of the fat are several, our body stores fat in order to convert into milk for the baby. lack of sleep which is natural due to frequent feeds and changing of diapers also increase fat increase in the body.

Most women these days chose not to have babies or delay it, for the sake of their careers. Even after they have children, they quickly wean them off and rush back to work for the sake of their ambitions.Even men have started demanding their wives to have careers. i find it very disturbing. Not only is the yin and yang in the woman going hay wire, the yin and yang of the whole planet is beginning to suffer. To have a child or not is a personal choice but once you decide to have a child it is a life long commitment.

Today, a lot of us are going through break up, there is so much heart ache. I again feel this is happening because, in the name of liberation women are opening up to casual sex from a very young age. Men have stopped looking at us with respect . Men no longer need to be committed because there is free sex every where. When you're in a relationship, sex is a beautiful and natural outcome of it. Sometimes relationships just don't work out. However, the break up should not be because no one wanted to make the effort of making it work.

Do I feel it is the onus of the woman to make a relationship work? Definitely not. It is the choice and responsibility of both the individuals. All I'm saying is, women should be a little careful ,how they use their freedom. Being a feminist should not translate into becoming a man. It should mean loving being a woman which includes child rearing, sensitivity, nurturing. I am and I emphasize I am not endorsing any MCP viewpoints here. I am not saying all women should stay at home and have no goals. I am not saying women should stay silent and suffer fools, abuse or any wrong doing. I am saying stop trying to become a man.

We have a lot in us, by the virtue of being women. We bring beauty, romance, knowledge to the world. We raise our sons and daughters to become what kind of future we want to have. We are empowered , and for that we need not look like match sticks, dress up like men, cuss like them. We of the two genders have more variety of choices, so make the smart ones. Honor your body, honor your inner goddess, your inner and outer beauty. Use your power to create a better world. Enjoy every role you play of a lover, a friend, a wife, a mother and a daughter.

I love being a woman and I enjoy all the perks I get from being one. I'm sure one day mother's in India will also have the option of part time jobs and we will have the best of everything, in the meantime, I am content writing from home. I know I don't need to prove anything to anybody. I'm amazing and that's why God made me a woman to begin with.....

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