Thursday, 14 June 2012

Nobody Loves ME!!

I am not being gender specific here, although most men would prefer to say "Men" don't think like that. Yet "Nobody love me", is a thought that plagues a lot of us, at some point or the other, and specifically after the end of a significant relationship ( long term affair, live-in or marriage). What makes the thought worse is, when going through this phase of feeling sorry for ones-self, the happiness of the couples we see around, seems highlighted and out of proportionately happy.

Since we are small children, feeling sorry for our-self, get imprinted in our minds. We get fed, our diapers changed or even get attention when we cry. We grow up with the belief , if we cut out a sorry figure, we will end up getting more love or attention. Yet as adults we become aware that we cannot become whining people. We end up internalizing our poor me feelings, we cry inside our thoughts and hearts and want someone to come and reassure us.

We also grow up learning rejection is a defeat. We make everything into a matter of Ego satisfaction. We must get what we've worked so hard for or what was the point, Everything is a competition. Everyone I know is in a relationship, is getting married... what do I lack that no one loves me?

We torture ourselves by asking negative questions, where as we should be asking what our lesson was, where do we need to grow, why did we attract that situation and above all be grateful for not being in a relationship that would have grown bitter and wearisome by the hour.

We always want what the others have, yet we are not aware of their journeys, their struggles. Everything comes with a balance, something good and something that helps us grow attached together ( the yin and yang principle)

This feeling of "Nobody loves me", is also something that the runt of the litter, the youngest child or in someway disabled people carry all their lives. It is but natural because, they have grown up feeling inadequate, hence UN-deserving.

The law of attraction ensures you get exactly what you think and feel, and the more the thoughts linger on I'm not good enough, I don't deserve, Nobody loves me...the more it will get validated in your life.
Some try to become attention seekers or people pleasers or simply withdraw into their shells, the end result is always the same, bitterness, loneliness, self loathing leading to the same thought process to start all over again.

If you want to be loved, I can't stress this line any have to begin by loving yourself, as you are, down to the last bit. Loving yourself does not mean you turn into a megalomaniac or an egotist or and egoist. It simply means, accepting yourself, exactly as you are and knowing that, you were meant to be exactly like that. Once you love yourself, you open the doors to the universe to send more love your way.
Second most important thing is to shed pre- conceived notions, pre- determined solutions on what kind of love you want/need. Friends love you, family does, pets love you too. Once you revel in the love of these relationships, you are almost ready to find that someone special....

The third most important thing is to stop searching, stop settling, basically stop being desperate. Just know, There IS someone out there for you and you will find each other when the time is right and when you're ready.

Feeling sorry for yourself drains you of all hope, enthusiasm an positive energy. You are unable to put your best foot forward and you take a huge dent in your self esteem. The bleakness of the dark hours is not something to be taken lightly. Yet you can be your best friends , you know best what uplifts your mood, what makes you feel good about your self, who are the people who value you. So do whatever it takes to become the best YOU possible, no one else can do a better job....Nobody loves me just isn't true, if you love yourself. If you love yourself, respect yourself, be gentle and caring toward yourself, keep working on you keep walking what you think is a lone journey, your tribe will keep increasing...more and more will join "The Loving YOU Club"

No comments:

Post a Comment