Wednesday, 25 January 2012

I WANT him BACK....!!!

Have you heard a man or a woman say I want her/him back. has it made you wonder, why on earth would an otherwise sane person say this line. Why does a person want to continue with another person, even long after, that person has made it loud and clear, they want out. In spite of lies, cheating, betrayal, abuse, constant fighting to the extreme limit, why someone wants him/her back? There is a saying in Hindi, "come ox, and hit me" ( as in bull fighting). There are times when an outsider looks at a failing relationship and thinks, he/ she should be glad, its finally over, why would they want to live with such a person any way. Some well-wishers, friends or family even tell them," he/she is not worth it, you deserve someone much better", but it seems, the needle of their record player is stuck on.."I want him/her back!"

Love, is the highest form of energy in the universe. Love, when it enters your life, makes you a better person. Unconditional love, is the only true healing power there is in the universe. People operating from lower energies are focused not on love. They are focused on " I". This I begin with this makes me feel good. This is What "I" like, other lower energies, such as possessiveness, jealousy, insecurity, fears, doubts, anger coagulate with this "I" . These lower energies are the doorkeepers of our ego. They prevent true love from entering our hearts, our relationships and our lives.It is this "I", that feels hurt, when the object of "our" love & desire leave us for some reason. It is this "I" that screams "I want him back". I have done so much for you, I have put up with so much, I love you so much, you will never find another person to love you like "I" do....

The I or the ego, is what wants the person back. It is the ego that makes you feel, he/she is choosing someone else over you. This makes your ego feel small and rejected. The sense of ownership is created again by this ego. This is my girlfriend/boyfriend. No one else owns him.His love and sex is mine. You do not own any body. People move on for several reasons. If you did not define your self worth by the parameter who is with you, you wouldn't feel small, worthless, undeserving or unattractive if someone left. Wealth, status, power or relationships are not parameters of how good you are. Your self worth comes from within. Your ego, fools you into believing , these are what define, how good or bad you are, its the reverse. Work on yourself, love and accept yourself unconditionally and the rest will come on its own accord.

Love, not only in a romantic sense, but love what you do, your work, everyone around you, without expectations that feed your ego. Once you start operating from the frequency of pure love, and no other reason, forgiveness, grace, compassion will come to you automatically. If you truly desire the happiness of the one you love, sometimes, you have to let them go, because their happiness lies some place else. This thought bruises your ego. Who else can make him/her happier than I do. Look how much I there is in every sentence. This gives you a clue, how much you are operating from the ego.

Operating from Too much "I", hurts you the most. TO truly love, the first thing to surrender is the ego. Please understand, self respect and ego are too different words, for a reason. No one is asking you to do anything you are not comfortable with, anything that harms you physically, emotionally, sexually or otherwise, Please use the word "No". Once you stop operating from lower frequencies of doubt ,fears, insecurities etc, you will find, you are no longer clutching so hard. have you noticed the harder you clutch something like, sand, the faster it slips out.

Love, is a beautiful emotion. It brings out the best in you. You become, more caring, compassionate, forgiving, nurturing, not only toward the person you love, but to the world in general. Love, is now known to heal ailments. Louise Hay, talks about techniques of sending love to the area of your body, you are not satisfied with, with time, it loses its flab. Once you start to give love, the more love comes back to you. Do not be fooled by the trap of "I", to believe what you feel is true love. You want, you do not love. You are not happy, not because of the behaviour of the other person, but because, its not real. There is no peace, there is constant conflict, because two" I's "  are trying to satisfy themselves. There is cheating, betrayal and lies, because, the "I", needs validation, again and again of being desirable, attractive, being sexy and wanted. One is not good enough. It is the "I', that makes one judgemental, about physical beauty, success, money. When two people are truly in love, they are aware, they will change, they will grow, and sometimes apart. They learn from each other, they evolve, they feel peace. They don't have a relationship to prove a point to someone, to the society or the world or even to themselves. They stay together, because both have something to give to each other and to receive. When its true love, the definitions of the relationship may change, but the essence never dies. You can never bring yourself to berate, or humiliate each other, the well-wisher in you never dies.

You do not want him/her back, because, you did not have him/her, to begin with. What you thought you had, was an illusion created by your ego, and the ego keeps you in this eternal loop. It tells you to go after something, it knows you can never have, then it berate you, making you work harder and harder. Stop, think....let go... in love and in peace....

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