Tuesday, 16 October 2012

Redemption and second chances

Redemption .... the need to redeem...it is safe to say, it connotes failure , the first time round. It means a chance to win back good points, opinion or reputation against a history where you lost it.Perhaps, the word comes loaded with guilt.

People says, its a fortunate few , who get a second chance, also connoting, a sort of re-match, if you please, to set things right, again highlighting that you went wrong some where.

This is a topic, I know every word is divided by thin lines.The important three words, I am writing about today....Mistakes, Redemption and second chances....
Mistakes are generally taken as a negative. You are scolded since you were but a toddler, when you didn't do things "correctly", implying mistake. In school , these mistakes are categorised into errors and careless mistakes.AS we grow older, people are less forgiving. Anything that doesn't work, is condemned as a mistake and if you make one too many, you are tagged a failure and soon enough a loser.

However, even though, in the limited time we do have, considering we live and remember only one lifetime at a time, we do not have the luxury of committing every mistake our self, my question is, Is making mistakes such a terrible thing? Do we deserve being tagged, labelled, crucified in a broader sense, for making mistakes. To err is human. Why?

We learn from our mistakes, that's why. At least, that's what we are supposed to do.Take for example, a situation of a divorce. Why is it called a failed marriage? It didn't work, sure, but why the tag "failed"? Each relationship teaches us a lot. It helps as grow . We do learn every day spent with another person.

When a student "fails" a subject, there is judgement, assumptions, he is weak in a subject, so he failed it. He repeats a class, because he failed. He failed because he made one too many mistakes. Perhaps he excelled in certain subjects, but that is cast aside. His inherent aptitude not withstanding, he is a failure, because he is slow at grasping certain subjects that are deemed important by the majority of people.

A person, grows , with self esteem issues. He wants a chance to redeem himself. prove, he's good or better than any one else. He wants a second chance. This happens, in tangible targets. He can prove himself by fitting into criterion of success. People can judge on palpable parameters. But in life, not everything is palpable or tangible. Is redemption only about beating the odds? What are true second chances?

In life, when we find our self in certain situations again and again, we groan "Not again!!", "I'm back to square one", "Why does this keep happening to me". These situations are life giving you more than simple second chances . For the universe sometimes redemption is not about changed circumstances or changed/ different results. It is sometimes about changed attitudes towards a situation. Redemption is about, handling something better than the first time round. About not complaining or trying to get out of situation but making the most of it. You see, sometimes , what we perceive as a negative situation, is just a situation. No change is required, not different outcome, just your attitude toward it. Universe is not judging. It has no favourites. It takes no sides. From a macro level, the second chance was not given to redeem yourself, in the broadly understood form, rather to redeem yourself in how you conduct yourself, in the given situation. A second marriage does not prove, you right, corrected, vindicated. Its a chance to practise what you learnt the first time round. You may find, nothing has changed, just the person. The reason being, the only change required, is not the external situation, which by design is perfect, but an internal one, with you...

If only we stop looking at  mistakes as a bad thing, we could then focus more on learning from not only our mistakes, but from those of people around us, before us...we would grow exponentially in our expertise, experiences and wisdom. we would learn practical applications, because no one would be embarrassed to share their "mistakes", they would happily share, their experiences, how they dealt with it, what they could have done differently. we all do have hind sight. We would all benefit.

Second chances too would take on a different meaning, we would look forward to doing things differently, experiment to find out what works out the best way, because we would not be afraid of making mistakes and being judged there after. We would happily try alterations of our attitudes, belief systems. We would breath freely, live freely, love more, fear less.

Perhaps redemption would no longer be required as a word and cease to exist. Or if it existed it would denote an individual who figured out what works the best for his highest form of existence. People would be happier with their lot, far less envious of whom they now perceive as better, more successful, better adapted...

My question is, is making mistakes such a bad thing after all? Are we after all sent on a journey of life , the road of which is bumpy to say the least, must each bump reduce our joy in the journey. Can we not gleefully cheer like children, rise from our seats  at every bump and settle back in all the while enjoying the sights, sounds, experiences the journey has to offer us. Need we focus all our attention on how many pot holes, bumps and rough patches the are. Its a long drive isn't it ? Would we rather take all that as a part of the experience and just go at our pace, take in as much a we can and make it a picnic rather than an ordeal?

1 comment:

  1. ... why humans even in the animal kingdom where all the basic existential rules apply .... where their "KRIYA" is not "KARMA" ... they too make mistakes .... like , a deer unmindful of the crouching tiger nearby , wanders off alone by mistake , thus loosing his life ... and the butterfly flying right into an invisible spiders web... mistakes are not deliberate... they are the evidence that someone is trying to progress or trying out some thing new, but it does not happen according to plan .... but that surely does not mean that he/she is incapable or in any way not upto the mark ...
    as very eloquently put ...mistakes are nothing to be shy off.... another try is not redemption but , just another try ...

    a very motivational piece of writing .. where the necessity of the wrong turns are rightly put ... these "mistakes" build a person ... makes life livable .. else it would have been so boring .... KUDOS