Monday, 14 November 2011

On Passion.... and dreams

I have oft times gone to watch my husband at work.He, being a born director, is a joy to watch at work, I Can only attempt to write about,its a joy to see him work. The last couple of times I went to visit him on an outdoor location, he was directing episodes of a mythology based television show. I've seen many facets of my husband, he was my boss in a corporate firm, I've seen him at work at his drawing book and large canvasses, yet the only time I've truly seen him alive is when he's directing. His body language changes, his eyes twinkle, he furrows his eye brows in deep concentration, the energy in the people around him changes. I look at him and I'm amazed, I feel the world is a good place to be. His energy is contagious.It was this time when I realised what it was, his hard work, endless hours of work, his total dedication comes from one place.... this is his passion. He loves doing this.

Passion is a strange word, it can't truly be explained unless you've experienced it. It is so intrinsically woven together with your dreams. I knew another man a long time ago, he was completely passionate when it came to love, to his relationship but a complete laid back person where it came to his career. One of my very close friend run this organisation for children who have run away from home. She is totally passionate about her NGO, I asked her how she does it, she is a young mom of a beautiful young boy, she is a full time wife and daughter-in-law, yet she gets up every morning and rushes to work. Some days I find it difficult to even get up from my bed I told her. My ex mother-in-law is one of the most dynamic people I've met and I always wondered from where does she get so many hours in a day to do as much as she does... Suddenly one of my clients asked me, how I do it, I was taken aback me? She was so genuine and she asked me how i managed to be a full time mother, take therapy sessions, attend my classes, paint, write, keep in touch with all my friends, go on dates ( I was not remarried then )... I was stunned!! I had not realised I too have certain passions in life. When I paint or read or write stories I never feel exhausted, I never realise where the hours have flown. 

Dreams and passions are not mere interests, they drive you, its something you're born with. you feel incomplete when you're not pursuing it. I've mellowed down, my relationships drained me, I no longer do theatre, I no longer write for newspapers, and i want to dream again, let the horses in me awaken and start running again. Did you know when God created horses, he did not give them a reason to run, horses just feel like running and so they do. It gives them an inner joy, a sense of freedom, they know it from inside, this is what they were born to do.... they just run.....

Somewhere down the line I lost sight of my dreams, I let the fires of my passion die down. It left me empty, it left me bereft of energy.All lot of "practical" demands of daily life makes one pull away from the thing they love doing the most. One needs to put food on the table, keep his family happy, sometimes other harsh realities of life make you question your own priorities and dreams. Family especially has a knack of disdainfully putting dreams down, get real, is the sentence you'll hear once too often. You may be torn from inside , " what should you do? what is the right thing to do? " money, family, responsibilities are like mites they slowly nibble away at the core of your dream , your passion.

No matter what people think, say or do, no matter how impossible your dream may seem, keep it alive, believe in it. I watched Rockstar this weekend, it reminded me how I was in my college days, I believed I could conquer the world. I had so much faith in myself in my abilities. this movie reminded me of that fire in my belly I turned away from in order to conform.

I've started to try and re locate my passion, I know this fire never dies out, I know i might have to reacquaint myself with it, but what ever it is, it will come to me easily, effortlessly, naturally, because this is what I'm meant to do.... I'm reminded of a choir song from school.... this little guiding light of mine, I'm  going to let it shine....

Today I want everyone who has this passion, a dream they totally believe in, follow it, and for the nay sayers... here's a classic line...." frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!!!" ( from Gone with the wind)

1 comment:

  1. .... As they say the divine fire that guided the prophets, messiahs, gurus and angels, through the times thick and thin, never dies. It is this fire we are born of , it is this fire our spirit thrives on ... the writer of this post describes this fire as she sees it in others but little does she know that the same fire burns the brightest within her . its just a matter of time that she will recognize it within her ... and the circles she inhabits will glow as radiant as the sun ...Amen :)