Friday, 25 November 2011

Radha... Its time...

There are some girls I know. Completely lovely girls. I'd call them " Radhas of the world". I was one of them.

Now Radha as most Indians will know is one of the sweetest characters in Indian Mythology. She is an epitome of love. I identify a great deal with her. I loved listening to stories, poems and songs about her love story with Krishna. Krishna was the love of her life. She would hear his flute and come running to him. As every young person in love is, she was very possessive of him. Krishna never committed to her. According to a lot of explanations, he was fulfilling a promise made to Maha Maya, etc.... today again lets forget the metaphysical explanations and justifications and just look at her as a young human girl.

A young village belle in love with a charming, glib, flirtatious boy of the village. She was his favorite. She experienced love as she could have never imagined. The highs and lows of young love. The anxiety, the burst of the fire of jealousy in the belly , when seeing the beloved in the company of another girl. The bashfulness, the innocent dreams of living happily ever after. The vanity of youth thinking this is forever. The indifference to what the world will say. The passion that makes one break all societal boundaries. Radha experienced all of these and much ..more....

The time came when this boy had to leave his youth behind, leave his carefree, romantic days behind and become a man of the world. He had to go forth to fulfill his responsibilities and duties. The world was at his feet, waiting to be conquered. He left. He left Radha behind too. He never returned....

Radha, all my Radha's of this world go through similar emotions at this stage. They still hold onto the straws of hope. The want to believe "He" will come back one day. " He is the one", "Our love was true". They guard fiercely the flame of their love. They turn a deaf ear to anyone who dares tell them to move on in life. They blame everyone, but their man for his absence. "It must the other woman who entrapped him", "its his parents who don't want us together", "once he finishes his responsibility he'll come back", "if I stick around long enough he will marry me"," there must be some reason for his inability...." They just refuse to see the man for what he is. I'm not saying the love was not true. But love does not guarantee a lifetime commitment. There are various degrees of love. The love you experienced was the first thrust of youth. It is meant to fly. It comes with an expiry date. You must let go and move on.

Whatever the reason of his leaving, he has left. That is what is important. There are some men like that too. Once they face heart break, they never dare to give love another chance. A woman I know somehow managed to get back her absconding lover and tie the knot. To what end, she is still clamoring for his love, his heart is still un-committed.Love cannot be forced. It is either there, or not there.

"I WANT HIM BACK!!!", how many times in my therapy sessions have I heard this sentence, each woman convinced she is the only one experiencing this true love. " He'll never be happy without me" is the sentence they second their first declaration with." I've done so much for him." They all feel unique.

Radha, my dearest Radha, you are so full of love. Why do you waste that love on someone who did not appreciate it. Why do you wait, and pine, waste your breath on prayers that will not be answered. You deserve a beautiful life. he moved on, why can't you. Find someone who deserves your devotion, you tender love, your loyalty. Radha, I know you, see I was like you too. But do you remember, the" Ras Lilla", the dance where shadows of your Krishna danced with the other Belles of the village,whilst the real him danced with you. Do you remember what he told you as he drew the circle around himself. He said to you, any girl whose love for me, is not as true as yours , will not be able to enter this circle.... do you remember what happened then, they all entered. Not one of them was left standing out. Radha, its not that your love was not true or strong enough. Its that the other women love him just as truly.

What you should have asked him Radha, at that time, Lord, you who can see the love in every woman's heart, what circle can I draw to see who is it you truly love?? Radha, you trusted without any evidence that he loved you  the way he will never be able to love another....but was that really true?? Do you know how many wives he acquired after that? A man who loves truly will not stray. He would have stayed, if that is what he truly wanted. he didn't, and that's reason enough for you to move on too....A broken heart is not reason not to fall in love again.There is nothing wrong in finding your happiness. Remember the good times but let go of the dream.  My Radha, the epitome of young love,  the girl we all love, our inspiration in love, my best friend, my sister.... Its time....

1 comment:

  1. Yes , so true ! LOVE is not a treacherous mountain that one has to scale and one's life hangs by this thread , which he/she cannot let go ... in the above passage one very beautifully emphasized phrase comes across "LET GO !"... you will live to see another flower bloom ... but now you will be aware of the pitfalls ... so LET GO ... fantastic piece ... CONGRATULATIONS NIKEETA :)